Sunday, July 24, 2005

"say, Would You Like A Chocolate Covered Pretzel?"

Well it’s been two months since I added the counter on this site and its number is over three hundred. I would like to thank the 2 people that actual wanted to read the posts on this site, and the three hundred plus that came here by accident. So I figured I would share a story with you today from my high school days. Like to hear it, here it goes. I had a friend in high school get his locker super glued shut, yes as funny as that is I had nothing to do with it. Since he was a very close friend of mine I decided I would help him seek his revenged. I found out who it was and decided to make them a special batch of chocolate treats. My friend and I set out on a mission to the grocery store, in search of pretzels, Hershey bars, and of course exlax chocolate. Once the ingredients were collected a special batch of chocolate pretzels were made to insure the regularity of said locker super gluer. The pretzels contained approximately three to four times the suggested dosage of exlax, oops someone’s gonna get the poops! I went to school the next day with one bag of the exlax version, and one bag of normal chocolate covered pretzels just incase I need to convince someone they were safe. I met up with my friends and we began to pass them out. I made sure that the kid who glued my friends locker shut got one, but one of my other friends decided to give one girl he really didn’t like four of the exlax pretzels. That’s not all; he also gave a teacher one and another kid three of them. I thought for sure the people that ate large quantities would have to get their stomachs pumped and that I was going to get expelled. Thank God no one was seriously ill, the one girl that ate four and the boy who ate three didn’t come to school the next day. I talked to the boy when he came back to school since he was somewhat my friend and asked him why he wasn’t at school. He told me every time he ate something he would have to rush to the bathroom and “drop a deuce.” I could hardly contain my laughter, for I knew why he was sick, but couldn’t let on. As time went by, most of the school found out about the pretzels, and some of the teaching staff, but I never got in any trouble over the matter. Well that’s my little story I hope you booger picking, finger painters’ enjoyed this, and remember don’t try this at school, I’m what you would call a professional.


mmm tasty! Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Hamburger?

Why is a hamburger called a hamburger not a beefburger or something referencing a cow. This question keeps me awake at night, yes I am a vegetarian, but still I can’t sleep over this meaty question. There is no pig in a hamburger but yet ham is a reference to pig meat, what were the people thinking when they came up with the name? Were they mental intuition cafeteria workers, or maybe they were lobotomized chefs. Either way I’m guessing they were a few french-fries short of a happy meal. If you know the answer to this stupid question, feel free to post it on this stupid site.

beefburger! Posted by Picasa

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Truth Behind The War In Iraq!

I just got done hanging out with a friend of mine who was in the war in Iraq. He had some interesting things to say about why the U.S. was really there. I always thought it was an oil issue, but I was wrong. I didn’t mind being wrong when he told me that at least I didn’t believe the weapons of mass destruction lie that the rest of the flock bought. It turns out that counterfeit U.S. currency was being produced. My friend informed me that the war was to prevent the U.S. dollar from losing its value. I was a little skeptical at first until he told me that he and his fellow troops got to raid one of the presses and destroy it. He also told me that when Saddam Hussein was captured he had about million or more in U.S. currency. His platoon captured other people as well that were carrying large quantities of U.S. currency. At this point his story was starting to be believable, and then he added some more interesting facts that would further enforce the truth behind his statements. He said “why do you think the government has been changing all the money” and what he meant by that was, why has the government updated all the security features on its currency. My only response was, to make it harder to replicate. Now that I have been thinking about it more, I have realized that it wasn’t too long after the war started that the government started making the changes to its bills. The war began in 2003 according to most war related websites; the newly designed U.S. currency also began circulation in the year 2003. Coincidence, I think not!

Money printing press

Friday, July 15, 2005

O' Canada

The U.S. slaughterhouses may begin receiving Canadian cattle within days, after an appeals court overturned an injunction blocking such shipments on concerns about mad-cow disease! Why does this make me happy? It's news about Canada, my home and native land. The U.S. had banned cattle from Canada in May 2003 after mad-cow disease was found in Alberta, my birth place. Since I don't eat meat, mad-cow doesn't scare me too much. I can't wait for the Canadian meet to start being imported back into the U.S.A. All this talk about cow only leaves me with one thing left to say, "Where's The Beef?"

Canada taking over the world one hamburger at a time!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Boring Me!

I can’t see why I even post on this blog anymore, it hasn’t even been all about me, so this post is going to be my five minute autobiography. For those of you that know me, you know how messy my house is, well now that I am roommate free I cleaned the living room and I’m working on the rest of the house as well. I needed this time alone to get my crap together, I liked having a roommate, but his presence made me lazy, I would get sick of repeating myself about how he needed to clean up after himself, so I quit cleaning up after myself. Now I am free from the laziness and I’m loving being able to walk into my house and not trip over stuff.

The Chicago trip to Wizard World is rapidly approaching, which means I now start to sell everything I have laying around the house to raise some extra cash. I probably have enough saved up but, I am one of those paranoid people that never feel they have enough money. Oh well I needed to get rid of the extra stuff anyway so now seems like the best time to do that. Well that’s about enough, I am sick of talking about myself, it makes me see how boring I really am.



She-Ra

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Chemical Castration Is Alright With Me!

Joseph Edward Duncan III a sex offender, went to prison for 20 years only to get out and do it again. This makes me believe that chemical castration for sex offenders is not such a bad idea, yes I’m sure it’s against some stupid amendment, but when you’re a criminal in prison your rights are some what revoked. There is always going to be that one person that gets convicted and castrated that is proven innocent 10 years later, or some sob story about how a husband and wife can’t have a kid do to the fact the husband committed a crime when he was younger, but isn’t the safety of the children worth it? I’d like to think that their safety is undoubtedly worth it. We as a nation must protect the innocent children, since they can not protect themselves. The sex offender website is available to the public for that very reason, I recommend if you have young children or you’re a women that you check out the website, you never know who lives next to you unless you check. Well that’s my 2 cents and I’m sticking to it.

Click for His web Blog!

Saturday, July 02, 2005

HA, HA, HA, HA, Would You Like A Balloon Animal?

This is for all those pansies out there that are afraid of clowns. I think it’s time to face your fear, so take a look.

KLOWN

Satan = Gay

Satan wins again; it seems that Spain has legalized gay marriages. Ok, if you are not yet looking for the barf bag conveniently located in the seat pocket in front of you, maybe this will make you scurry. The bill, passed 187 to 147, it says couples will have the same rights, including the freedom to marry and to adopt children, regardless of gender. Sssuper thanks for giving them the right to corrupt children. I realize that they are people too, and I don’t dislike them I dislike the sin they are living in. My heart goes out to the kids that will be brought into the unnatural lifestyle that homosexuals live. What happens when the birds and the bees talk comes, well little Johnny when a man sees another man that he finds attractive, they get a gay marriage and etc. Little Johnny is going to have some serious emotional issues, and since kids idolize their parents, he will want to be just like his dads or moms or whatever the heck they will call themselves. Studies already show that children that grow up in a home with out a father are more likely to break the law, so what happens when the child grows up with to men that act like girls? Society is crazy, I can’t wait till Jesus comes back, I’m sick of this filthy world, it’s time for bath, bring on that Godly detergent.

straight pride!

Friday, July 01, 2005

More Crappy Art, That's Sure To Make You Sick!

I told a friend of mine that i would add some more crap that I drew on this site, so Ryan here you go. I hope you like it more that I hate it, if that makes sense.