Monday, May 30, 2005

The Weekend

Well I’m back from P.A. and as I promised Max met his match. He was a fighter; it took three shots to bring the beast down. Max will be missed by his wife Judy, and his one-hundred-thirty-nine children, whose names I will not mention for the sake of time.

I didn't really do this to this chipmunk!

SOMEWHAT SHORT STORIES FROM P.A.

While I was trying to sleep in the cabin, my Grandmother kept turning the light on and off. To mess with her I acted like I was going to pull the plug out with my foot. She of course over reacted and got a glass of water and kept it close to her bed. Since the cabin is one big open space inside everyone pretty much sleeps in the same area, so it made it easy for me to try and steal the glass of water from her. I got under my sleeping bag and turn around on the bed so my arms would be able to reach the glass, but she thought I was going for the lamp plug. She grabbed the glass of water and poured it on me and my sleeping bad. This of course set me off, because I hate wet cloths with a passion, so I grabbed the glass out of her hand and dumped the rest on her bed. Thinking that the argument was finally over I tried to go back to sleep. My Grandmother decided to get a giant two gallon jug full of water and commence pouring what can only be descried as a waterfall on my bed. I took shelter under my sleeping bag to deflect as much water as I could, but the bed stated to get soggy so I jumped out and saw that my cell phone and bag of clothes were taking on water on the floor. I grabbed my stuff and said I hope you’re happy now, and left. Now I am really mad and it’s pitch black and I have to walk up a mountain to get to my car since I had to park at the top. I luckily had a tiny light on my keychain to guide me to my car.

Once I reached the car I thought my problems were over, I was going to jump in and drive home. I couldn’t have been more wrong, it seems my battery was dead, since I left my lights on. I was too angry to go back and ask someone for a jump and I surly didn’t want to ask my Grandmother for anything, that was simply out of the question, and the way I was parked maid it hard to get to my car. As I lay in my car and pondered, I came up with the idea to walk into town in the morning to buy a portable jump-starter. It was freezing cold in my car and I didn’t have any blankets or anything, but I had some button up shirts, so I buttoned them all together to make a makeshift blanket, take that Macgyver. I found the passenger seat to be somewhat comfortable, and fell fast asleep.

I awoke to the risen sun at 6:30 and set out on my journey into town to get a jump-starter. The walk was long and tiring, but at 8:00 I made it to the store only to find out that they were closed. Ok this was a breakdown moment, or so I thought, but I kept myself together. I felt like Tim Robbins character in The Shawshank Redemtion at the end, only instead of holding my hands up in the air with joy, it was the complete opposite. Realizing that you are stuck somewhere that you just want to get away from is hard and terrifying. The journey continued, as I walked back to my car but this time the road had more traffic and since the speed limit was 55 I decided to walk through the woods along side the road, but first I had to cross the six foot wide stream of water. I saw that rocks were sticking out of the water so I stepped on them to start across, but the rocks moved and I feel in, and the gatorade that I bought in town fell in to the current and was sucked down stream. “What the heck is with all the freaking water this weekend” I screamed, and jumped out of the water. I continued wet shoes tired and thirsty like crazy back to my stupid car. Half way back the rain began to fall, and my temper started to flair. I only got more enraged as I approached my car, since I knew that I was still stuck in the mountains. I opened the door and took a nap.
The sound of gun shots woke me up and made me surprisingly happy, because they were coming from a cabin that had a four-wheeler in front of it. I thought maybe that four-wheeler could jump my car and that would be my ticket out of the mountains. I asked the owner and he said he didn’t think that would work, but he would try and get his truck close enough to the car to jump it. He drove down to my car and sure enough he got close enough to my car and jumped it for me, I couldn’t thank him enough for it. I took off on my way home, driving faster than I have ever driven before. Then it hit me the spirit of God fell on me, my flesh fought it for about twenty miles. I stopped at a car wash and called my cousin who was at the cabin, just to make sure they were there and quickly ended the call without letting him know that I was coming back. I prayed the whole way knowing that God didn’t want me to leave with anger in my heart.

I reached the cabin and again my flesh acted up, I wanted to turn back and just go because I didn’t want to be the one to say I was sorry, but I had to. I walked into the cabin and my Grandmother looked at me in shock, I kicked my shoes off and gave her a big hug. With no words spoken I had peace in my heart and knew that the fighting was over as she said she loved me.




Friday, May 27, 2005

Death To All Rodent Kind!

I’m off to PA for the weekend, to kill rodents on this wonderful Memorial Day holiday. I will celebrate this redneck holiday like every other redneck, with a gun in one hand and a brew in the other, well a root beer anyway. My grandparents have a cabin down there, and to keep the place nice and vermin free, I must shoot some chipmunks, and the occasional porcupine. Meet my friend Max, the 4th brother of the famous Chipmunks. That’s right 4th brother, but Alvin convinced him to go after a peanut in a friendly trap, and he never got adopted by David Seville. He escaped death by chewing through the plastic for 21 days, half dead and striving he crawled out of the trap. He may of got a second chance at life, but he will meet his match this weekend.

Max the stunt chipmunk!

As I try to keep the tears from falling down my face, I wonder what goes through these pro-choice people’s heads? I see a mother cry over the death of her son due to shooting, and then I see what would have been a mother smile due to the abortion she just had to elevate herself from the responsibility of having a child. Why is it that the unborn child is considered the woman’s body? If a baby was just a part of the body, the woman would have been born with it, it wouldn’t take a Y chromosome to produce it either. Lets take a look at someone you and I will never know, who’s grandparents will never be able to watch play baseball, or go to a dance recital. This is truth, this is a child.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Death To All Computers

This will be the darkest blog I have ever written, so be afraid to talk to me for a while. I got a playstation portable, psp for short, don’t get excited, it has brought me noting but pain and suffering. I wanted to be able to put movies on it, so I downloaded some programs to see what one worked best. After finding the one I wanted I deleted the stuff I didn’t need, and while I was deleting I thought why not free up some more space and delete some other stuff I don’t use. Now my computer doesn’t work right, it won’t burn dvds and my disk drives are acting funny. I gave my pc to a friend of mine and he fixed some of the problems, but it still won’t burn dvds. I need it to burn the dvds so I can put them on my psp. Burning a dvd compresses it which makes it smaller and then I can fit it on my psp, but I can’t do that right now because computer illiteracy runs through my veins. If that isn’t bad enough, I realized that I never needed to download any of the programs I deleted in the first place, I had one that would have worked the way I needed it to all along. Which means that I never would have started deleting stuff and would not be stuck with a stupid broken computer. I think that this picture best describes my feelings toward my computer, and yes those are bullet holes.




stupid pc Posted by Hello

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

GO BUY THIS PLATE, but don't steal the PLEEZ thing, I want to order that one for myself.



choose life Posted by Hello

Monday, May 23, 2005

Pro-Choice is Un-American

Ohio has come out with these awesome choose life licencse plates, to support pro-life. What does the stupid abortionists do, well the ACLU, American Civil Liberties Union of Ohio decides to sue the state of Ohio over it. The ACLU claims that it is a discrimination violation of the First Amendment, because the organizations that the plates represent are not involved with any abortion activities or referrals to clinics that perform them. "This is a case about fundamental fairness," said ACLU of Ohio staff attorney Carrie Davis. "The State of Ohio cannot open a public forum to one side of a debate without allowing the same access to all other sides." When the heck did life become a side? I am so sick of this, for lack of better words, bull crap, it’s a child for crying out loud not some thing that your body just produces. Attorney Carrie Davis you can kiss my butt and all the dead children’s that you and your fellow abortion pushing cohorts helped eliminate. The world agreed that Hitler was a mad man for slaughtering 100’s of innocent people, but unborn children are killed everyday and the world doesn’t seem to care, talk about your double standards. I think that this is a good place to stop, otherwise I will have to repent for the things I say in this blog, abortion just really makes me angry.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Revenge of The Sith!

Ok, this is crazy, I have been posting way to often, but here is another. I saw Star Wars episode 3 today, and for those of you who haven’t, it freakin rocks!!! The Star Wars trilogy, um sixrilogy, I’m sure that that last one isn’t a word, but I don’t know what else to call it, I guess I will go with series, yea the Star Wars series has finally come to an end. I can’t wait for the series to come to dvd, why? because I’m a big nerd and I plan on watching them all in one day, with no pausing or restroom breaks, just the films, a Jones Soda, and me. Ok I’m sure I will have to use the restroom at least once in the 12+ hour period that it’s going to take me to watch the films, but I am still going to geek-out for the entire day.
I am not going to do a movie review tonight, for the obvious reason that my whole blog has been about a movie. So I will leave you with this, GO SEE THE FILM OPENING WEEK, WE MUST BRING AN END TO THAT STUPID REGIN OF NUMBER ONE BOX OFFICE FILM THAT TITANIC HAS.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

WOW, no not the game, WOW as in shock!

The title says it all, so the story is like this. I went to Boardman with my cousin Adam, he needed to sell some candy bars. After he sold like two bars he needed to use the restroom, aw Wendy’s home of the free frosty well at least that was the promotion this week. As I pulled in to the parking lot I could see a limo blocking the exit I needed to go through in order to get back on the road. I will admit I was a little perturbed at the thought of having to try and get in the drive thru line in order to get out, but my anger was quickly replaced by laughter, as I saw the just married sign on the limo. Yes it’s true that weddings are in fact expensive and receptions too, but Wendy’s, come on. I apologize to anyone that this might offend, but if you’re going to have a reception at a fast food restaurant, maybe you should reconsider having a reception all together. I feel that one’s dignity is easier kept by not having a wedding reception than having one at the local burger joint. Call me a jerk call me what you will but that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it.

MOVIE REVIEW OF THE NIGHT

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy, I don’t even think this movie is worthy of a review so this is going to be short and to the point. Save your money or better yet spend it on anything other than this movie, oh, it sucks that bad. I think they got George Lucas and Barney the dinosaur high and said make a movie, the end result was The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy. This film gets 10 out of 10 hitchhiking thumbs down.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

FRIDAY THE 13TH IS HERE AT LAST!1!!

WOW, it seems like forever since the last blog, ok so it’s been a while, but don’t have high expectations, it will still suck! This is a special day for me, it’s Friday the 13th, why is it special? Well because I get to watch horror movies named after this day. I started the day about 12:00 this afternoon, I love sleeping in! I played my new PSP as soon as I opened my eyes, I think I am in love; it’s the greatest thing ever! Ok well I’m done, I have to start up again in small segments, other wise I might kill some of you with shock, since I never update this crapy thing.

OLD SCHOOL MOVIE REVIEW!

The movie of the night is Friday the 13th part 2. Jason is back and boy is he mad since his mother Pamela was killed at the end of the first film. He goes on a death rampage and slaughters a but-load of Crystal Lake camp counselors. Oh, the joys of being a crazed serial killer continue through out the film until he is stopped by some stupid kids. This film receives 8 out of ten dead bodys!