Monday, February 14, 2005

Don’t Mess With Trekkies

Well it is apparent by the comment posted on my last blog, that Trekkies aka Star Trek nerds take things very seriously. All I did was let the world in on an intergalactic conspiracy, and some obsessed fan-boy tells me that he hopes the Easter Bunny poops on me and I’m not even going to repeat the other phrase he used, feel free to read the comment if you must know. So my new goal on this crappy site is to prove to the world that Star Trek sucks, well at least this week anyway. The can of worms has been opened and war has been declared, watch out Trekkies here I come! Lets talk about stupid Klingons oh what a great race of bad guys right, wrong, they originated without the now famous face plate feature. So how does the face plate come into existence? I have no clue but I doubt that it was explained in depth in an episode. You can’t just change the design of a whole race in a show, that’s absurd. On to my next Trek bash, Captain Kirk is a male skank, he probably has at least four STD’s not found on planet Earth. He has the need to fornicate with everything that appears to be female. With plastic surgery being very advanced on Earth one can only imagine what is capable on other planets more advanced that ours, where am I going with this you might ask? Well what I am saying is that Kirk has probably been with a few dudes as well as women. I have it on good authority that Kirk and Scotty shared a moment together and the Easter Bunny made a guest appearance, well kind of, check out the picture.
Example

Interglactic Conspiracy Theory.

So, I had the opportunity to get beamed aboard the Starship Enterprise today. Now I hate Star trek, I am no way a fan by any means, but I figured that this was a once in lifetime opportunity and I had to take advantage of it. I mean come on it’s not everyday you get the chance to have your bodies atoms broken down and beamed across space and then recombined to form your body again. So I said beam me aboard Scotty, and snap I was there chillin with Captain Kirk, only something was missing. I know how to dress myself, I am a big boy now, and I know I had two socks on when I left Earth, they might not have matched, but I was wearing them. When I arrived on the Enterprise I was missing my left sock, now I know that the dryer and washing machine like to steal socks for the Easter Bunny’s sweat shop, but I had no idea that it was an intergalactic conspiracy. So Scotty you fat Scottish jerk you owe me one pink stripped skater sock! Oh yeah and Kirk sorry about dropping a deuce in you private bathroom, but you and the green chick were in the public one, and I didn’t want to intrude.